tu ra lu ra lu ra

The Smoking Gun just published their annual St. Patrick's Day mugshot roundup and let me tell you, shit was not to be taken lightly. Here's some standouts.





They say the Irish are immune to therapy, the same cannot be said for meth.

Linehan family reunion

Guastaferri family reunion, one of my cousins is taking her myspace picture on the bottom right.

Back hoe and leprechaun flute not pictured

I thought To Catch A Predator took this holiday off

Everybody's Irish on St. Patty's day!

St. Patrick's day classic

Be safe

Really?

From the country that brought you scat porn and the holocaust

good shit

The homeboy Chad Vangaalen coming in hot with these two bangers. Not only did dude play all the instruments, he also decided he mine as well animate the videos. Wow I feel like shit.

I'm lovin it

A woman was arrested Tuesday after calling 911 to complain about the Mcnugget stock at her local Mcdonald's. The woman, Latreasa Davis obviously of Florida, became irate after ordering a ten piece mcnugget, paying, and then being told that the restaurant was out of nuggets. Apparently picking a bad day to construct a nugget wedding cake, Latreasa demanded her money back but was denied either because the employee's hot dog like fingers could not initiate the open register command or because refunded money can't be put back on a link card. Doing what most would do in this situation, Latreasa called 911 a staggering three times while everyone in a 10 foot radius fought back tears of laughter. Police came and after hearing the women's plea that "Mcnuggets are an emergency", promptly arrested and charged her with misuse of an emergency number. Grimace, the fry kids, and Ronald Mcdonald himself were unavailable for comment at the time of arrest but multiple witnesses have confirmed seeing the hamburgler jump out of the bushes and fist bump Latreasa before fleeing the scene. He's got warrants. Please note that the above mugshot is from a previous arrest stemming from a similar incident at Big Lots.

Norm Van Lier 1947-2009

R.I.P.

party of the year

April 18th get your snug on
www.snuggiepubcrawl.com

(Good eye, Steph)

Straight off the dome

You go girl

Rapist still at large; Western blue line stop apparently considered part of Logan Square

http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2009/02/logan-square-sex-assault-linked-to-2-others.html

First off, fuck this guy. Hopefully he's caught soon. Rapists don't do well in prison. Second, it seems like everyone is referring to this incident as a "Logan Square sex assault". Howevah, this rape as well as the 2 previous ones have all occurred in the quaint up 'n' coming (uh oook) subdivision of Bucktown, an area previously known for its' staggering array of condo buildings adorned with Satan Disciples graffiti. I dunno about y'all but it seems like certain very important people who have alot of influence on how Chicagoans think (i.e. the local media) might have a little vested interest in all that fresh property west of Western and don't want to scare anybody off. So whatever, blame it on the Square. Nah fuck that, channel 9. Maybe ten years ago when I was locking my doors and rolling up my windows driving to fireside but not now. This area is clean as a whistle.

But more importantly, read the article thoroughly people. Ladies, keep your whits about you and stay strapped. If you're running mace, make sure it's the direct spray kind not the fog kind which just shoots a freaky cloud everywhere and will most likely fuck you up as much as the attacker. Also, marking ink with that mace is a huge plus so that homeboy is easily identifiable in the streets. Finally and I've been saying this shit from day one

Get that lipstick taser

The Roc is in the building

That fateful night I heard the news about the Chris Brown/Rhianna beatdown, I remember thinking "damn Chris I don't think you know who you're fucking with. The streets is watchin." Sure enough, my gangster intuition proved true as reports have since come out quoting an outraged Jay Z calling the young singer "a walking dead man" and saying that he "messed with the wrong crew". Hey yo killer Chris, maybe you should use some of that double mint money to install a pair of eyes on the back of your head. That way you'll be able to spot Beanie Siegel pull up in the black SS with the tinted windows or Dame Dash throw the diamond up like he was on the O'Reilly factor before he whoops your ass. Hey man, I heard Suge Knight's free. Give him a call. Just remember you'll owe him a favor. That dude doesn't play. He'll dangle your tap dancing ass out a window so fast you won't have time to count how many radio stations have dropped you from their play lists. Believe that. As for the reports that Jigga gave Rhianna herpes and then passed them onto Chris prompting the choke out in the first place, I'm highly skeptical. Jay's a CEO, he's always one step ahead. While I'm 99.999% sure he tapped that skinny jamaican Peter Pan looking ass, I'm sure home boy stayed strapped.

lol

In other news, the French Unicorn Handler's Union and International Magician's Assembly of Eastern Europe have also requested large stimulus packages from their respective governments. It is unclear yet as to how the struggling organizations are going to be payed but our sources have hinted that leprechauns and genies might be involved.

Mom?

You're done son

Oh man

blogging all the way to the bank